


And So Are You

by forgotmyline



Series: Fic Swaps [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Post-Game(s), Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:15:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgotmyline/pseuds/forgotmyline
Summary: Kaidan offers Shepard some comfort after she retires from the military and finds that she's not quite sure who she is anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoddessTiera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessTiera/gifts).



> This is a Secret Santa swap fic written for GoddessTiera. I don't usually write this pairing, but I enjoyed it a great deal and I hope you like it!

Shepard closed the door after the last of her guests finally departed, and leaned her forehead against it, a nearly empty glass of champagne dangling from her fingertips and a quiet sigh escaping her lips. She had gone to sign the last of her discharge paperwork that morning, and when she returned to the rambling old farmhouse she and Kaidan shared, she had been surprised by all her closest friends, come to celebrate the start of her civilian life. She was grateful of course. How could she not be when she was surrounded by everyone she loved best, all there to support her, to show her that they loved and cared for her? It was all just so…  _ overwhelming  _ right then, so soon after signing everything. She had been counting on a little time to decompress, to figure out what her life was now. Instead, she was just drunk and feeling sorry for herself, surrounded by streamers and confetti, the ‘Congratulations, Shepard’ banner above the door looking a little pathetic as one corner started to come loose and droop a little. She identified with that banner more than she cared to admit at that moment.

She breathed another heavy sigh. Enough was enough - wallowing in self pity wasn’t going to do her any good, and there was a mess to clean up. She pushed herself off the door with one hand, the motion intensifying the lightheadedness she already felt from too many glasses of champagne. Music started playing from down the hallway, the kitchen she thought, or maybe the bedroom, interrupting her plans to start picking up in the living room. She listened closer and couldn’t stop the smile that came to her lips when she heard Kaiden start singing along, off key and just a little bit too loud. The song was old, from more than 200 years ago she thought, but she recognized it from when she was just a girl. It was a different version than the one she remembered, this one slowed down and sung by a woman, but thoughts of her mother and father came to mind anyway. One of the last memories she had of her parents before they died was dancing to this song with her mother, the joy of being in her arms while they swayed around the living room, her father’s smile as he leaned against the doorframe watching them. There weren’t a lot of memories left - she had been so young when they died - but she never forgot this, precious as it was.

Her footsteps carried her down the hall until she made it to the kitchen, swaying a little as she went and without even realizing what she was doing, as if the song somehow had her in its thrall. She leaned against the doorframe just as her father had all those years ago, a lifetime ago really, arms crossed and champagne flute still dangling precariously from her fingers as she watched Kaidan dance and sing to the music while he cleaned up. It didn’t take long for him to notice her watching, but he just smiled wider, reaching out for her as he sang that he wanted to hold her hand. Shepard had never been much of a dancer, either too busy trying to survive after her parents’ deaths or too busy in the Alliance military after she had joined to escape Earth and all the bad memories it held. Still, he was hard to resist and she found herself setting her glass down and letting him pull her to the middle of the kitchen as the song changed to a new one by that same old band.

He held her tight against his body, a feeling that was familiar and endlessly comforting. Even more so now, when she was feeling a bit more lost than she was used to. One of his hands was still in hers, the other around her waist, as he twirled her slowly around their kitchen, his lips feather light against her ear as he whispered the lyrics to her. “The sun is up, the sky is blue,” he sang, his voice a low rasp that sent a shiver through her entire body, “It’s beautiful, and so are you.”

He pulled his head back, dropping her hand so that he could run his through her short, dark locks before tilting her head up to his and flashing her a crooked grin, the one that let her know he wanted her and was just biding his time until he could get her alone. It was just for her, that grin, and it never failed to spike her blood, get her heart racing and turn her thoughts to those of a more amorous nature. Her face flushed with warmth and she was sure she was pink all over, and suddenly she wasn’t feeling very sorry for herself any more. Kaidan dropped a kiss onto her forehead before leaving a tortuously slow trail of them from her temple to mouth, all the while still leading her in a languid swaying that had gotten completely out of time with the music. 

How could she feel sorry for herself, she thought as his lips captured her own, when she had so much to look forward to, and Kaidan there to share it all with her? She kissed him back, sweeping her tongue across the seam of his lips to let him know she wanted more of him. “Greedy minx,” he laughed, “We can take as long as we want now, Luna. You saved the galaxy and now we have all the time in the world to just… just  _ be _ .”

Just be. Could it really be that simple? “I don’t know how to do that, Kaidan. Who am I outside of the military, back here on Earth without a ship to command? How do you move on after what we did, when everyone in the galaxy knows our names and faces? I don’t…” she choked out a quiet sob, sounding whiny even to herself. She wasn’t usually this maudlin - she blamed the stress of the day and the free flowing alcohol which she had readily consumed. “I’m not sure I know who I am anymore.”

He cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up to look at him again. So handsome it hurt to look at him sometimes, especially right now, with the way the fading sunlight lit his face, giving him an almost otherworldly glow. His lips met hers again for just a moment, gone before she even really registered them. “I think you’re not asking the right question, my lovely Luna,” he said, with his forehead pressed against hers and his mouth still close enough that she could feel the damp heat of his breath. “Who do you  _ want _ to be?”

“I don’t know that either.”

The song on the radio changed again, something more uptempo this time but they still moved back and forth slowly, the shuffle of their feet barely perceptible at this point as they held themselves tight against each other. “There’s no rush - you get to be a work in progress now, get to take your time and figure out anything you need to. And I’ll be right here while you do.”

She had a thought, so ridiculous that when he kissed her again, she giggled against his lips. “My kisses are funny now?” he asked, amusement glinting in his eyes. 

“No, I just… I keep thinking of ridiculous things I can do now. I could steal a ship and become a pirate, or taste test ice cream, or become a librarian, or… I don’t even know.”

Something other than amusement flashed in his eyes, something darker that called to her own baser instincts. “Not that I’m complaining,” she whispered as Kaidan started to push her against the counter behind her. “But what’s that look for?”

“I got a few mental images I liked,” he all but growled as he lifted her onto the countertop and kissed her again, more insistent this time, singled-minded in his purpose. 

He tasted like whiskey and chocolate and she wondered if she would ever get tired of this, of him, of the way he felt and tasted. Not possible, she thought, pulling away slightly. “Ice cream  _ is _ pretty sexy, I suppose. I can’t say that I blame you for getting all worked up over it.”

Now it was his turn to laugh against her lips. “I was thinking more along the lines of you as the uptight librarian who needs to loosen up with a good, hard f…”

Shepard ran a hand through his hair, giving it a slight tug so that he was forced to looked at her, to see the desire she was sure was evident in her eyes. “A good, hard what, Kaidan?”

Her breath caught when he started running his hands up and down her thighs, the warmth of them coming through her pants. She wanted those hands, and more, on her bare flesh. “I think I’d rather show you,” he told her, his breathing heavy and his voice even huskier than usual. He pushed her thighs apart, making room between them so he could get closer. “More fun that way.”

His hands slid up higher on her body, under her shirt so that he could lift it over her head and toss it on the floor behind him. Her bra went next, nothing more than a blur of black silk and lace flying through the air. A shiver ran through her body, from the cool air, or the way Kaiden was staring at her like he was about to devour her, or maybe both. “It doesn’t seem fair, you know, getting me half naked while you stay fully clothed.”

Her own breathing was labored now, her words barely audible over it. Still, he heard her and complied with the order she never actually issued, his shirt soon joining the growing pile of clothes on the floor. God, he was beautiful, all hard muscles under soft skin, just begging to be touched. And she obliged, of course, running her hands along the expanse of his chest until she reached the waistband of his pants. She made short work of the button and zipper before sliding his pants over his hips until they pooled at his feet and he stepped out of them, leaving himself before her in just a pair of boxer briefs that did little to hide his rather impressive erection. “Does that even the playing field a little?”

Shepard nodded, not trusting herself with words at that moment, choosing instead to wrap her legs around his waist to pull him close. She kissed him again and this time, he opened up for her right away, allowing her to delve inside, to taste him again, their tongues matching the pace of their earlier dancing like they had all the time in the world. Without breaking their kiss, Kaidan unwrapped her legs from his waist long enough for him to slide both her slacks and panties off, leaving her completely bare. His boxers went next, and then his hands were back on her body, his touch light as they ran up her thighs, her stomach, the sides of her breasts. She moaned into his mouth at his touch, and he pulled back, the glint in his eyes showing that he took that as encouragement. 

He dropped to his knees before her, giving her another cheeky grin, the secret one that only she ever saw, before he was between her thighs again, nibbling and kissing his way up until he reached her center. Her body practically hummed in anticipation and she was rewarded with his mouth on her, his tongue making flat, broad strokes until she opened up for him. What an incredible sight it was, the man she loved on his knees before her, his dark hair framed by her much paler thighs as he focused on nothing but giving her pleasure. She nearly saw stars as he licked and sucked, her body winding itself tighter and tighter until it exploded into what felt like a million tiny pieces. 

“More, Kaidan. I need more of you,” she demanded, tugging him up and settling him between her thighs again, until she could feel him nudging at her entrance. 

His mouth was on her again, this time giving well deserved attention to her breasts, muttering, “So lovely,” in between kisses. She couldn’t take it anymore, especially when she felt the scrape of his teeth on such sensitive flesh. “Please,” she nearly begged, pulling his face up to hers and wrapping her legs around him once again.

She could taste herself on his lips when she captured them yet again, and she was surprised by how much of a turn on it was. And then all thoughts fled her mind as he pulled her closer to the edge of the counter and slid inside her, filling her, giving her exactly what she wanted. It was one of those perfect moments, one of the few times that none of her usual worries were weighing on her. It was just him, and her, and the way their bodies moved together, a different kind of dance than they had shared earlier. They clung to each other tightly, lips and teeth clashing, bodies moving at a feverish pace now as they both climbed higher and higher, the pleasure they each gave and received eclipsing everything else. 

It was almost too much, and she thought she would burst out of her seams until she finally  _ did _ , her orgasm coming on hard and fast. She cried out as heat spread out from her core through the rest of her body, and pulled Kaidan even closer, like she couldn’t possibly get enough of him. He followed shortly after, shuddering against her and calling out her name in a low growl. They stayed like that for a few moments, clinging to each other, his head cradled in the crook of her neck, both trying to catch their breath again. 

“I realized something,” Shepard finally said, her voice quiet, as if she had a secret that was just for him. “It doesn’t matter what I do next. I’m Luna Shepard, and I can do whatever I want, as long as I have you by my side.”

She could feel him smile against her neck before he stood so he could look at her. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”


End file.
